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Ok so here is the big update.

1. I do have a blood clotting disease called Factor V Leiden. This means I will be on warfarin for life ((which sucks ass and depresses me because it means blood work every week plus feeling like shit all the time))

2. I will be on warfarin for life which means it is less likely I will have to deal with a clot again so that is good - kinda - except for how the warfarin makes me feel.

3. I have permanent leg damage. My doctor has assured me that my leg will never recover from this. We are hoping my leg will just make a new vein to route the blood through.

4. I will need physical therapy because I can barely walk. I can no longer straighten my leg. I am a gimpy girl.

5. He prescribed me full length support hose - so I will be getting those and struggling with them.

6. I have to find out about getting a wheelchair permanently as well as a handicapped sticker for the car.


A lot of bad news but at least I finally have some answers.

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I just want to say that I like blogging, and I think everyone should try it at least once. Facebook or myspace doesnapos;t count, a blog blog, a site that is geared for writing. People on social network sites like those two donapos;t necessarily blog that much, and the blogs are not always easily accessible.

I love livejournal, because of the privacy, the customibility, the tags that are special to it such as the cuts and the user tags, and the communities. I take pride in the fact that livejournal was one of the first blogging sites out there, and it is still around. Iapos;ve had livejournal since 2002, longer than Iapos;ve had my gmail, facebook, myspace, blogspot, xanga, google web pages, etc.

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I like the Aeon colors skin for Firefox- that artapos;s pretty good and itapos;s a clean GUI but not Bauhausian.

It takes me far too long between sitting down and getting useful work done. :(

Iapos;m embarrassed about liking to have a 7E hot dog for breakfast.

If I donapos;t get the next two assignments for com425 done this weekend, Iapos;m going to smack myself. Theyapos;re hardly "easy" but shouldnapos;t take more than 1.5 hr total- and itapos;ll be less if I can bear to do it straight through. (Michaela knows- I practically froth at the mouth over some of the stupid crap in them. Itapos;s fun, in that omg-arrrrgh kind of way.)

Ben communicates overmuch constantly, and when doesnapos;t thus worry. -nodnod-

Loads of change is the way to not be scared of it afterward- but no, it only expands the zone, it doesnapos;t change the nature Mindset?

Geode is in Mozilla Labs and it makes me go gwee O.o.

I wish break were longer. Itapos;ll be like a mini summer Only with rain and less booze. Oops, should move the bike.
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Yea, it has been a while. Iapos;ve been terribly busy with school and work and volunteering. But thatapos;s how I like to keep it. Busy. I recently turned 22. Sounds pretty cool, eh? Well, I guess so. Getting older by the minute. Sometimes�I wonder if all the work Iapos;m doing is all worth it. Do I really have to go to school right now? Couldnapos;t I just go to work and that was it? No. Sales have went in and out of the ass finances are kickinapos; my ass. So I guess you can say that working is a necessity. Damn... Am I even making any sense?

Something cool: I went to the California Academy of Sciences on my birthday with my best friend. (Sorry Melody, she beat you too it.) It was sooo refreshing to be in a fundamental, learning atmosphere. Not that I donapos;t feel that school isnapos;t at all fundamental, but it was a great change for a hot minute. I think my favorite part of the place was the aquarium. I�saw so many different fishes and I even got to see the albino alligator A lot of the pictures are posted up on my MySpace, so just check it out if anything.

I havenapos;t been reading as much. I usually can go through a book within a couple of days or so, but Iapos;ve just been stuck lately. I guess time really has got to me. I am, however, looking for a new book to read. I love mysteries and those sappy, romance novels so if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.

Random post. I think Iapos;m going to go and sleep. Toodles.

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Iapos;m doing pretty good, except for the fact that the conditions of remaining at job corp are putting a major fucking strain on my mental and emotional stability. I find I get depressed and angry everytime I return to center. Depressed because iapos;m like an animal being forced back into captivity, and angry because when I do have to deal with staff members Iapos;m generally treated like some miscreant, and getting shit from mainly upper management and people like mrs Freeman, mrs Floyd, and even gay ass Lambert because I HAD a Mohawk (or rather what I liked to call my Frohawk).

Apparently itapos;s against job corp regulations to be an individual with a unique hairstyle, though itapos;s understandable that a good majority of the young black men at job corp have dreads, braids and even nifty little designs in their hair. Ohhhh, but damn the one black guy with a Mohawk "Thatapos;s going to far Black People are taking over everything else, itapos;s unexceptable that now they are going to take over Mohawks" Man, Fuckinapos; bullshit, right? ::le sigh::

Itapos;s really whatever, I cut it to stop hearing them bee itch and saying such things as Iapos;m now being a rebel, and questioning authority, and a bad representative/role model for job corp. The role model part Iapos;m willing to believe, cause no later did I cut my hair, several other black dudes cut their own in the style of mine own. I wasnapos;t rebeling or questioning authority untill they started saying thatapos;s what my hair cut represented. Which I guess it may very well represent that from a judgemental observers point of veiw, but for me it was merely an expression of my individuality. A way to physically express my percieved uniqueness. In the end, individuality, uniqueness, any expression of self is apparently frowned upon on Earl C. Clements, so I conform.

Now, upon conforming, I have a new rebellious fire burning within me that was not there before and the more time I spend there the more that fire grows, soon it will consume me and i will burn Earl C. To the ground. Maybe..., not so much, but you get what I mean right?

Other than that, Iapos;m doing swimingly well, in my classes and generally loving life outside the constrictive wall of Job Corp. I just have to keep in perspective the fact that Iapos;m not here to be an individual I am here to become a mindless working class drone. Hopefully, after being brainwashed I can retain enough of my unique personality to still be considered a individual.

::My rebellious spirit kicks my conformist spirit in the throat::

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Tomorrow.... :D

How can i not be proud of Jay. *.*

Those who dont know what Jam has been thru... This is how he goes to work everyday. Carrying 10kg++�keyboard and extremely heavy bag with all sorts of piano scores�along with him to work and not mentioning his transport is his motorbike�Just imagine putting this big keyboard beside your motorbike and drive. Can you even do it?�I luv you�so much la�Jam�:D�

I must really thank Cloudy so much�She knew i was looking for Jamapos;s qinpu and�she help me buy despite her hp being dead and not able to contact me to ask if i want or dont want. *hugs*

Just imagine.. I bought alr or dont want. HAHA�KIDDING. Iapos;ve never once say apos; no apos; to Jay and Jam stuffs as long as i can afford it.

Anyway, i dont get any of my Jay news/ pictures�from the�JCNET because my IE forbids me to.�This is for the... Most sensitive one out there who is reading like a peeping tom. (t*.*t)
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�So Iapos;m embarking on a brief measure of insanity, if you will. �On Friday, Ilene handed me an assignment -- a local gym was doing a Livestrong fundraiser (Livestrong being Lance Armstrongapos;s pet, for those of you living under a rock)...on stationary bikes. �Having not entered a gym since I left SEMO many, many years ago (okay, so a year and two months ago.��Big diff), I�was a little apprehensive, but Lauren and I went onward.

The spokeswoman for this event was a woman named Jericho, who pretty much encapsulates all of my ideas for personal trainers that arenapos;t, you know, Arnold Schwartzenegger. �Very enthusiastic, very knowledgeable about all of the different programs and promotions, so on and so forth. �So we shot the piece, interviewing a great number of sweaty people.

Then.

Oh, yes. �And then.

Jericho mentions theyapos;re doing this "biggest losers" type challenge over a ten-week period, starting pretty much that day, and are�Lauren and I interested?��Well, we are. �So thereapos;s an orientation at one, she tells us.��Which gives me just enough time to wander to EH, go to the bank, pop into the thrift store for a few new books, walk out having purchased a desk, a chair, bookshelves, and a suitcase (trust me, thatapos;s a story for another day), and hurry back in time for the meeting. �They detailed the program, whatapos;s expected of us, what their roles are.��Which - yay?

So I�get a call yesterday from Jericho.��Who is now my personal trainer of a sort. �And will be for the next ten weeks. �I took a long lunch today (time I will make up on Thursday, no doubt) to go get assessed, which included push-ups (I HATE push-ups), sit-ups, fifteen minutes on a bike, pinching, prodding, and a lot of joking around. �Simply put, my body age is ten years older than my chronological age, and if I work out, trim up my diet to be healthier, and stress out less (good luck with that one, Thanks, PLUM), Iapos;ll be eighteen again.

Only, this time Iapos;ll be able to drink.��Legally.

So my first class is in a little over four hours.��Meep.

- Ashley
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